


Susie and Lancer get a tank.

by crabbycreeper



Category: Deltarune
Genre: Author can’t Write, Author made this up and wrote it in 30 minutes, Guns, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, No Beta, No Planning, School Shooter, Tanks, This is gonna be cringe~, lancer is pure, wrote it for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:28:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27680728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crabbycreeper/pseuds/crabbycreeper
Summary: What could possibly happen if you give two bad guys a tank?
Relationships: Susie (Deltarune) & Lancer (Deltarune)





	Susie and Lancer get a tank.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so fun fact I used a random word generator for this whole idea. The three words I got were “compromise, tank, and hallway”. I tried to incorporate each one, but I dunno.

Susie didn’t know how, but she’d gotten Lancer into the “lightener world” as the goat said it. She’d just took him and walked out, which, she realized, would have looked terrifying to passerby. A giant pink dragon steals the young king. Huh, that had a nice ring to it... a clearing of a gruff green reptilian cashier interrupted her thoughts. “Are you sure you want to make a purchase? Do you even have money for down payment? Are you even old enough to buy this?”  
The seller asked skeptically. Susie grinned annoyingly as she reached into her back pocket, showing off a thousand dollars in fake cash and a fake id Kris had made for her. The green monster let out a annoyed sigh.   
“Fine, then. Here’s the keys,” the cashier handed her the keys as she passed him the fake bills. She shoved them into her pocket and took the receipt, walking out without another word.  
She had decided to have it towed to her mini apartment and told Lancer before she left to not open the door if anyone knocked, and to ‘not be kidnapped’. She made a clean sigh as her shoulders fell. She felt calmed, a really calmed, actually. She and Lancer were gonna have so much fun later, and she just sort-of-not-really got away with stealing something big! She felt so good she stopped by the dinner on her way back, using real money as she ordered her hot chocolate, burning her tongue on it as she sipped it down on the walk to her apartment. She could see the... device was already there and she could see paint on her windows. What could have possibly led Lancer to be literally painting her walls? She let out a chuckle filled sigh. She couldn’t even be mad at the small spade. She used her house key and walked up the complex, before finding her apartment and knocking on the door. “Purple girl said to not answer the door!” A slightly high pitched voice squeaked out.  
“...Lancer it’s me.”  
The door swung open and the first thing Susie noticed was that her green couch was blue now and the room was covered in splatters.  
“Lancer I need you to clean this up later... please?” Susie raised her voice at the end of her question hopefully.   
Lancer frowned slightly, looking slightly hurt. “Yeah but, you wanted to buy a attack helicopter but you got that other thing cause of me so I wanted to make it pretty!”  
Susie looked at his expression which somehow felt her heart breaking despite his lack of a face. “N-not like that! It’s okay! I just, uh... it’s not sorta, I love it! Just other people might not... they wouldn’t understand what cool is.”   
Lancer made a puzzled expression, but quickly nodded, his normal childish joy returning. “Oh I get it! Of course! Now...” he stuck his tongue out with a grin “Can we take it to school?!”   
Susie let herself smile back. “What do you think I got it for?!” 

They walk outside, the spade quickly running into the mini tank, Susie taking the backseat and Lancer taking the front seat. The tank was a dark red, a burgundy, and it was tattered with use. “You ready little dude?”   
Lancer hit the breaks as hard as he could. “YEAH!” And they moved 15 miles per an hour. Yeah, Susie didn’t realize that the speed would be so melodramatic. Still, it was a decent speed and with a bit of time they made it to the school. Lancer drove through the door, the cement walls crumbling as the tank destroyed itself through the door. Susie told Lancer to just put it in the middle of the hall as she thought about which way to go. The left had all the students and would be far more hilarious, but the right she might get to hear a screaming Toriel which is all their screams combined... or she could just shoot up the hall as a warmup. Yeah, she’ll go with that. “Lancer! Aim at the lockers on the right!”   
Lancer moved the tank at the left lockers. Eh, she could work with this. Susie presses the red button and let missiles fly. With a loud boom it teared through the wall and left a large hole in what used to be lockers. Whoops.  
She heard a loud scream and a curse word... was that... TORIEL?! She grinned at she shot at her classroom, explosions hiding the dust that would fall and the walls that would crack. A giant hole made it clear to her that her entire class was completely safe, other than Alphys, who was under the desk having a panic attack trying to whimper out something to tell her students. Susie shot some walls, before hearing... oh no...  
Undyne.  
Susie leaped out of her tank before being leaped on by a very sushi smelling cop. The cop was laughing, seemingly manically, out of something resembling joy. Susie spent the rest of her days in prison the end


End file.
